How Can I Talk to My Partner About Sex?

How can i talk to my partner about sex

What’s supposed to be cooler than having sex? Well, talking about it. Many individuals often start a new relationship expecting their significant other to perform fireworks in the bedroom. However, you may find yourself thinking, “Is this it?” The thing is, no one is a born mind reader, especially as it relates to romping in the bedroom

However, there is a magic trick you can try, and that is communication. Irrespective of how experienced your partner is, they might not know what ticks you. And since everyone is different except your partner, who can read minds, then you won’t know what to do except what they are told. 

Even if you have been together for a long time, like you guys finish each other’s sentences, this communication is still important. Why? Desires, dislikes, and likes change with time. As you evolve, so do your partner and your relationship, so your activity in the sheets should, too. 

In this blog, we will explore the question: how can I talk to my partner about sex? So individuals can properly understand ways to talk to their partner about sex. 

How to Discuss Sex With Your Partner

Talking about sex with your partner can help you find new and fulfilling ways to improve your sex life. If this concerns you and you don’t know a way around it, then let’s find out how you can effectively talk to your partner about sex.

Talking about sex with your partner

Just do it

Though it might be quite scary to talk about sex than walking into a room filled with snakes or spiders, it is not that bad. In fact, I dare say it can be quite hot. Imagine this: you intend to open up about something personal, and this vulnerability can be quite attractive. Now, if you are nervous, begin with simple questions such as “What do you like in bed?” 

Remember that they are also on the spot too. So, once your partner answers you, share your thoughts. For example, “How do you feel about trying…..” or “You know, I really like it when you……..” Oh, and also speak up about your boundaries. If there is something you don’t like or don’t want to do, then this is the best time to say it out loud. 

What do you like in bed

Pick the right time

As a pro tip, you should just drop sex conversation on your partners when they are doing something, such as maybe binge-watching a Netflix show or running late for work. Instead, choose a chill moment. Maybe during a long drive, a lazy Sunday morning, or after dinner. Remember, if you are in the moment, ensure you keep the vibe fun. Don’t be all serious, TED Talk. Instead, drop a casual “Hey, you know what would feel so amazing right now?“ This way, it isn’t awkward but sexy. 

Consider your partner's feeling

Now, your partner won’t like it if you always start with what they do wrong, like “What! are your socks still on? Are you doing it wrong?” Instead, start with what they do right. For example, “I love it when you do this amazing thing. Do you know what else would be awesome?” beginning your conversation this way creates a positive vibe and doesn’t make your partner feel attacked. As a pro tip, make use of ‘I’ statements. For example, “I feel so connected when…..” However, don’t use words like “You never….” 

Share your fantasies

This is where things get very interesting. Everyone has fantasies. I mean EVERYONE! Sharing your fantasies with your partner can take your sex life to the next level. Yes, you might be a little nervous. Don’t worry, begin small. You don’t need to share your wildest ideas. 

Consider beginning with something such as “DO you know what, I have always wanted to try this……..” Such a start can get the conversation going and give your partner the opportunity to chip in. Talking about your sexual fantasies can make your sex lives happier. So, whether it is about plain fun, romantic, or adventurous, you should not hold back. Talking about your fantasy should be exciting. You don’t necessarily need to do it immediately.

sexual fantasies

Know the differences

You might not like it, but the reality is that you and your partner may not agree on everything. However, this is okay. They might love morning sex, and you won’t function that way. You may consider role-playing, and they are more classic. Now, the key is to know these differences and approach them with an open mind. Don’t judge. You might struggle to find a common ground; don’t worry, try talking with a couples therapist. You may just need a little guidance from an expert to make all the difference. 

Intimacy is key

Having great sex is not about the frequency or technique. It is more about the connection. Cuddling, holding hands, and even sharing jokes can build intimacy. These are little experiences that build up and lead to better bedroom gymnastics. So, do not only think of how often you have sex. Think more about your connection with your partner. 

Talk regularly

Sex talk should not be a one-time conversation. Think of it like your favorite TV series that always has a new episode. So, you need to check in regularly. For example, “Is there anything you want to try lately?” or “Hey, how’s everything feeling lately?” Since desires change, continuously engaging your partner can keep you both on the same page. 

Conclusion

Talking about sex can be quite awkward at first. However, it pays off. Think of all the better sex you will have after a good and down-to-earth conversation with your partner. You see, it will pay off. Studies show that talking about sex with your partner can make you feel more satisfied and happier and, interestingly, more likely to orgasm

If you are looking to learn more about sex and the role testosterone plays in making your sex life better, then this website has all the answers you will need. 

FAQs

1. Why is there no sex in my relationship?

Life can happen. Drifting apart emotionally, health issues, and stress can make couples stop having sex. However, there is good news: engaging in communication can reignite this flame

2. What is the best sex advice that is hard to follow?

Well, that would be communication. Though simple, let’s face it, many people would rather go on a marathon than have an honest conversation about their sex life. 

3. Why does my sex drive seem so high?

There are various reasons: age, stress levels, exercise, hormones, and you name it, can influence your sex drive. Everyone has a different libido, so if your libido is affecting your relationship, then talk about it to a sex therapist. 

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