Look, we have all been there. You’re sitting on opposite ends of the sofa, looking through your phones, and the most personal moment you’ve had all week was accidentally brushing your hands when reaching for the TV remote. If this hits too close to home, don’t worry—you haven’t entirely wrecked the pooch yet.
Remember when you initially began dating? You were like two adolescents high on energy drinks and hormones. Now? Let’s just say that the most interesting thing that happened last week was the argument about who forgot to buy additional toilet paper. Again. So, let’s see how you can reignite the spark in a long-term relationship!
Let’s get real for a hot minute: that dizzy, can’t-eat, can’t-sleep, reach-for-the-stars kind of love you felt at the beginning? It’s about as sustainable as your New Year’s resolution to go to the gym every day. And that’s perfectly normal, you beautiful disaster, you.
Think about it – if we stayed in that initial love-drunk phase forever, nothing would ever get done. The world would be full of people writing bad poetry and making out in public places, like teenagers at a mall. Nobody wants that. Well, maybe teenagers at the mall want that, but you get the point.
Before we dive into fixing this mess, let’s see if your relationship really needs some CPR or if you’re just being dramatic:
Here’s the thing – relationships are like that plant you swore you’d keep alive. They need attention, or they’ll shrivel up and die. Maybe you stopped showing your affection because work’s been kicking your ass. Or perhaps you’ve been too busy playing “who can ignore who longer” after that fight about whose turn it was to empty the dishwasher.
Life changes can also drop-kick your relationship faster than a caffeinated kangaroo. New baby? Career change? Moving to a new city? These things can stress test your relationship harder than your pants after Thanksgiving dinner.
Remember what attracted your partner in the first place? Probably wasn’t your ability to recite every episode of The Office (though that’s impressive). Get back to being yourself – you know, the person who didn’t wear the same sweatpants three days in a row.
Look, we’re not saying you need to spice up your bedroom game right away but maybe start with some basic touching that doesn’t involve passing the salt at dinner. Hold hands. Hug. Give a shoulder massage. Baby steps, people.
Get curious about your partner again. And no, “Did you remember to take out the trash?” doesn’t count as stimulating conversation. Ask about their dreams, fears, and that weird thing they do when they think no one’s watching.
Remember when you used to plan dates that didn’t involve arguing over what to watch on TV? Yeah, do that again. Spark that romance like you’re trying to start a fire with wet matches – persistent and slightly desperate.
Your voice can be sexier than Barry White’s if you use it right. Say nice things. Express gratitude. Maybe try saying “I love you” without following it with “but can you please put your dirty socks in the hamper?”
We all have moments when we want to go full soap opera drama queen. But before you flip that table, take a breath. Handle conflicts like an adult, not like a reality TV star auditioning for their next meltdown.
When you’re working on your relationship, it shouldn’t feel like preparing for a root canal. Turn arguments into dance-offs. Discuss serious topics while doing ridiculous voices. Make reconnecting as fun as that time you both got food poisoning and had to fight over the bathroom (okay, maybe more fun than that).
If you’ve tried everything and your relationship still feels deader than your houseplants, it might be time to call in a professional. Signs you need help:
Look, keeping the passion alive in a long-term relationship isn’t always going to be as exciting as a Marvel movie. Sometimes, it’s more like a documentary about paint drying – but with effort, communication, and maybe a few well-timed jokes, you can bring back that spark.
Remember, love isn’t just about butterflies and fireworks. Sometimes, it’s about choosing to love that weirdo who still can’t load the dishwasher properly but makes you laugh harder than anyone else.
Now get off your butt and go kiss your partner. Unless they’re driving – in that case, maybe wait until you’ve parked. Safety first, romance second.
