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In most of your favorite TV shows, you will find a particular recurring pattern. Every couple has a happily ever after. Even social media is not left out. You find pictures of happy couples everywhere, leaving you wondering if your relationship is normal, especially as it relates to intimacy and sex.
It’s a no-brainer that most people have many expectations of how a relationship is supposed to look. However, the fairy tale model all around us does not replicate the realities of our lives. Sometimes, you might be left to wonder if the amount of sex you usually have is normal. Some people even have insecurities concerning the amount of sex they have with their partner. However, you must note that every relationship is different.
With these concerns, this blog will explore the question of how often couples should have sex for a healthy relationship to ensure individuals properly understand the role sex plays in healthy relationships.
Gather here, and let’s learn more about how much sex you should be having. There is really no normal amount of sex since every relationship is different.
Let me put it this way: normal will be whatever you feel is fulfilling for you and your partner. However, note that communication will be crucial to ensure both partners are fulfilled. Don’t take my word for it. In a 2017 study, researchers found out that the average Joe has sex about 54 times per year. This means around once each week. What does this tell you? Less sex!
More interestingly, another study showed that among couples, having sex once a week was the standard for happiness, and couples who had sex more than once a week did not say they were happier.
For many individuals, sex should be spontaneous and triggered by sudden desire. However, sex should be planned. You might not agree, but consider this: if you have commitments or children, then it might be quite helpful to plan sex.
If you don’t plan sex, you have a higher chance of not having sex. In fact, against popular assumptions, most sex is planned somehow. For example, when you plan for a date, you try as much as possible to make yourself presentable to your prospective partner.
In that case, you have planned sex because such an evening usually culminates at some point, and you know well what would happen.
This is a common problem among couples, even the most successful ones. If you have a partner with a low desire, it can affect the ego and self-esteem of the other partner.
It doesn’t end here, as it can sometimes get worse with the other partner filling in the blanks about what’s causing the lack of sexual desire in bad ways. This can amplify their insecurities and possibly affect communication.
So, as couples, make sure to engage in transparent, honest, and intimate communication about sexual lives if you feel unsatisfied. Many couples can talk about other things, such as kids or paying the mortgage, but draw a line when it comes to communicating about sexuality or intimacy. Being expressive and communicative about your sexual wants is important.
When you are unsatisfied about the amount of sex you and your partner have, there might be some factors to blame. Sex is multidimensional. It is emotional, physical, and mental; therefore, it is influenced by your physical and mental health. Some factors that might affect your or your partner’s sex life include:
Sex should be pleasurable and enjoyable. Therefore, let’s find out some ways you can improve the quality of your sex life.
Practice curiosity, introspection, and explore your sexual desires. This lets you be more familiar with your body, find out what pleases you, and deal with body image issues. If you are comfortable, you can consider getting to know what feels good via masturbation. When you become familiar with yourself and what satisfies you, it might be easier to express your sexual desires with your partner.
Being with a partner for a long time might make it easy to assume that you know everything about their sexual preferences. As an alternative, ask questions about their best experience, a time they felt dissatisfied, or something they always try out. Explore fantasies, new positions, or toys. They can change and revitalize your sex life.
You don’t need to focus only on the bedroom. Try other things that can lead to electrifying passion inside the bedroom. Consider exciting and new physical activities together, such as hiking or dancing, to push your endorphins up and make your blood pump.
Stress affects a happy sex life. Individuals with stress might have a reduced libido. For instance, in a 2013 study, researchers found out that women with levels of stress had low levels of genital arousal. So, when your partner is stressed, and you notice it, talk to them and find ways to reduce it.
You can try out body movements such as dancing, therapy, meditation, journaling, or productive physical activities like folding laundry. However, some individuals use sex to cope with stress.
An average adult has sex about once each week. However, this does not mean that you should do this too. Irrespective of how you choose to be physically intimate with your partner, the how and the were usually matter less than the quality of the encounter or connection.
Having frequent sex does not guarantee that your relationship will be successful. So, focus on the quality of the experience. Doing this can likely enhance your and your partner’s sexual satisfaction more than just increasing the number of sex you have. If you wish to make your sex life more healthy and learn about how testosterone can improve your sex life, Testosterone Facts has answers to all your questions.
Psychologically, when two partners in a committed relationship go for long periods without sex, it often causes feelings of rejection or hurt and can remarkably reduce intimacy and connectedness levels in a relationship, especially when the problem is not addressed or ignored between partners.
Different things work for each couple. In some relationships that are intimate but not sexual, both partners might feel that their needs are being met, therefore they feel mutually supported and close, which works. Then it is perfectly healthy.
