We all know that having sex is enjoyable, but did you know that it’s about the same as taking a multivitamin, going to the gym, and visiting a therapist all at once? Well, maybe not precisely, but listen to me: your favorite pastime in bed is actually a health-hidden weapon.
So, get your notepads ready because we’re going to go into great detail on the benefits of regular sex and how sex may actually improve your health!
Let’s face it – modern life is more stressful than trying to eat a burrito in a white shirt. Your inbox is overflowing, your cat judges you constantly, and someone ate your clearly labeled lunch at work (we know it was you, Steve from Accounting). But before you spiral into a stress-induced candy binge, here’s some sweet news: regular sexy time is basically your body’s built-in stress management system.
When you’re getting busy, your body becomes a hormone nightclub, and everyone’s invited:
Together, these party animals kick cortisol (that jerk stress hormone) to the curb faster than your ex on moving day. It’s like having a personal bouncer for bad vibes!
Ever notice how, after a good romp, you suddenly feel like you’ve been hit with a tranquilizer dart? That’s your friend Prolactin coming in the clutch. It’s the hormone responsible for that “five more minutes” feeling that hits harder than your morning alarm.
Here’s what’s actually happening:
Pro tip: Maybe don’t schedule important Zoom meetings right after your lunch break “nap.” Just saying.
Remember when your mom told you to take your vitamins? Well, she probably didn’t mention this particular immune booster (and thank goodness for that). Scientists found that folks who get regular action have higher levels of immunoglobulin A – the antibody that fights off colds and other infections.
Think of it this way:
And get this – they even found links between active sex lives and better COVID-19 resistance. Who knew protection had so many layers?
Got a headache? Instead of popping pills, maybe try popping… something else into bed. Those same feel-good hormones that make you forget about your ex also act as natural painkillers. It’s like having a pharmacy between your sheets!
Common pains sex can help with:
Ladies, gather ’round! While Aunt Flo might seem like a party pooper, there’s no need to put a complete halt on your good times. In fact, period sex might be your new best friend. Here’s why:
The Perks of Period Sex:
And for the squeamish ones: That’s why shower sex exists! It’s like killing two birds with one stone – you’re getting clean while getting dirty.
Okay, maybe don’t cancel your therapist just yet, but check this out: researchers found that regular sex makes people as happy as getting a $50,000 raise. That’s right – your bedroom activities are basically printing happiness money!
The Mental Health Perks:
Plus, it’s way cheaper than therapy, and you don’t have to talk about your childhood trauma!
Every time you hit the big O, your pelvic floor muscles are basically doing CrossFit. It’s like a gym membership for your nether regions, but instead of paying $50 a month, you’re getting paid in pleasure. Talk about a return on investment!
Benefits of a Strong Pelvic Floor:
Forget running on a treadmill like a hamster in business; casual – sex is the cardio workout you won’t try to skip. Studies show it’s great for your heart health, and let’s be real, it’s way more entertaining than watching the calories ticker on an elliptical.
The Cardiovascular Benefits:
Plus, you can officially tell your partner that your “cardio session” is doctor-recommended!
Gentlemen, gather ’round for some news you can use: scientists say ejaculating about 21 times a month might help prevent prostate cancer. That’s right – your health “homework” is to get off about five times a week. Finally, a health regimen worth committing to!
How to Hit Your Monthly Goal:
Remember: you’re not being horny, you’re being health-conscious!
No partner? No problem! While partner sex might release more oxytocin (the cuddle hormone), solo sessions still come with plenty of perks:
Plus, you don’t have to share the blanket afterward!
Remember, folks, a healthy sex life isn’t just about notches on your bedpost – it’s about giving your body and mind the royal treatment they deserve. Whether you’re riding solo or playing team sports, getting regular action is basically like having a platinum membership to the world’s most exclusive health club.
So next time someone side-eyes your afternoon “meditation session,” just remember: you’re not being frisky; you’re investing in your health portfolio. And that’s what we call adult-ing done right!
Disclaimer: Results may vary. Side effects may include uncontrollable smiling, excessive good moods, and the inability to look at your workout equipment the same way again. Remember to consult your partner(s) before starting any new “exercise” routine. And for heaven’s sake, please don’t try to submit this to your health insurance for reimbursement – we already checked, it doesn’t work.
Now go forth and be healthy, you magnificent specimens!
